While Ms. Dowd still riding on her high horse continues to amuse us all, it may be she has finally gone off the deep end. In her May 11, 2003, article, Ms. Dowd rambles on and on about smutty Barbie dolls, Wal-Mart removing “laddie magazines” from their shelves, President Bush on an aircraft carrier and American males being hypocrites. Apparently, Maureen sees a cosmic connection between smut and patriotism, remark ing: “it's funny that Wal-Mart decided to censor laddie magazines the very same week the Bush administration soared with laddie politics.”

Just what has gotten Maureen to spew venom for the New York Times in a far more incoherent manner than usual? Apparently it was seeing George Bush in a flight suit on the deck of the aircraft carrier, the U.S.S. Lincoln. The image seemed to spur forth heretofore unknown feelings and stirrings deep within Ms. Dowd’s soul. She must have heard other people say he looked good in military garb and something within Ms. Dowd cracked, and she agreed.

It was too much. The world was spinning, the sun rose and set, yet something was wrong. The American President, the Republican in the White House, had made an impression on Ms. Dowd, and, be still her racing heart, he might look good to most of America as well.

She needed to do something, but what? She knew that all the nonsense coming out of the Democrats about the inappropriateness of an American president in war time greeting and congratulating his troops on an aircraft carrier only made the Left look even more dim-witted.

She knew that she had to stay on message, making such remarks as “The real reason for the stunt was that the President wanted to have fun and film a campaign ad” and “Dick Cheney… gave Halliburton ever-bigger windfalls on Iraqi contracts.” How- ever, she was a bit too overwhelmed to focus.

Instead, Maureen began to garble different notions at the same time and, unable to separate the ideas, feelings and her sudden realization of the separate roles of each human gender, spewed forth invective at her own brethren. She said: “The Democrats never had the nerve to press the administration on the right stuff.” Adding, she said: “They carp about the President spending too much on a photo op, like a nagging wife upset that hubby went out with the guys and spent too much money on gadgets. They don't know how to combat the Bushies' visceral belief in action over explanation, juice over justification.”

Of course, she too was unable to “combat” what she was beginning to understand was attracting herself to the forbidden fruit, what was attracting her to a Republican.

She used other people to describe what she saw when President Bush walked away from his tail hook landing in a fighter jet on the aircraft carrier’s flight deck, ‘”Hot? SO HOT!!!!! THAT UNIFORM!" said another. And a third panted, ‘That swagger. George Bush in a pair of jeans is a treat to watch.’” Ms. Dowd was fooling no one.

Instead of her usual hit and run on the Bush administration, Maureen concentrated on the reaction of women to President Bush’s appearance and her own preconceived notion of what men liked to look at in magazines. Talk about a conflicted Ms. Dowd.

Why in the world would Ms. Dowd need to find a connection between Wal-Mart pulling adult magazines from their shelves and President Bush strutting across the flight deck of an aircraft carrier? Could it be that the scintillating feelings being banned from the hallowed walls of a super mart are also needed to be banned from the likes of Pulitzer Prize winning “journalists" at the New York Times?

Paul Walfield is a freelance writer and member of the State Bar of California, with an undergraduate degree in Psychology and post-graduate study in behavioral and analytical psychology. He resided for a number of years in the small town of Houlton, Maine, and is now a California attorney. His articles appear in numerous periodicals and on numerous websites. He has been the featured guest on KTSA News Talk Radio.  CONTACT INFORMATION:  Email:   paul.walfield@cox.net

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